What are emotions?
by donttouch
Summary: Something that has been stuck in my head for...well, forever. Don't own, so don't sue. My first House MD fic. Leave a review, I'm trying to get over my writers block. I'd also love your view on what I wrote about emotions .


_"What are you doing here? This is OUR place!" the kid said, his face red with fury._

_"No, it's not. You came here because you thought it was isn't. It's mine," a young Gregory House said._

_"I don't see your name on it anywhere!" the kid spat._

_"Look again," House said, pointing to the wall._

_'Property of Gregory House'_

_"Fuck you dude!" the kid hissed to House's triumphant grin. The kids left and House sighed. He needed this little sanctuary from the world. They always demanded so much and there were so many rules, that he was going insane just thinking about it. At times he wished he was Autistic, it would be easier than having to explain that he was a jerk. Then again, people would feel sorry for him, and that was something he hated._

_House had always known he was smarter than many others. It wasn't something he could hide, and he didn't understand why people would frown at him when he used his knowledge to get good grades. His mother said it was envy, yet he didn't understand what envy was. Emotions. What were these useless fragments of a human that disrupted daily routines? His father had two emotions, anger, and irritation. His mother had many, but the ones he saw mostly was fear and sadness. Emotions confused him when they weren't what he expected, so he did the best he could to get people to show the emotions he could handle seeing. Anger mostly, since that was the one emotion he could kick in the groin and run away from._

* * *

"House?" James Wilson stuck his head into House's office.

"I'm here, Jimmy," House replied and Jimmy came in, sitting himself down in a chair. House was leaning back in his office chair, staring at the ceiling.

"What's going on?" Wilson asked. House lifted his head and looked at Wilson.

"Nothing's going on," House said. Wilson frowned.

"Okaaaay? Then why did I get paged from three very concerned interns?" Wilson asked. House leaned his head back again and went back to staring at the ceiling. "House, what's wrong?" Wilson asked. House frowned, sucking idly on the candy in his mouth. "Okay then, I'm leaving," Wilson said and stood up.

"Lock the door on your way out," House said.

"H-"

"Wilson, today I had told a girl she was dying. She wasn't angry, wasn't sad, wasn't in shock, she was happy. At least I think she was happy, I don't actually know what happy IS...Wilson what the hell is happiness?" House asked out of the blue. Wilson was so surprised that his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish for a while before he sat down again.

"I...it's different for every person," Wilson said.

"Yes but WHAT is it? If dying makes some people happy and a ferriswheel makes others happy...then what IS happiness?" House asked.

"I...I'm not sure," Wilson shifted in the chair.

"What makes you happy, Wilson?" House asked.

"When one of my patients go into remission. Or I go one day without wanting to kill you," Wilson said.

"You want to kill me?" House asked. Wilson shrugged. "Should I be worried?" he continued.

"No, you shouldn't. House what's this all about?" Wilson asked.

"Nothing, really, I just need to understand," House said. "If a person smiles, would you say that person is happy?" House lifted his head to look at Wilson who frowned and pouted his lips before looking at House, nodding. "What if that person wasn't happy at all. Would it surprise you?" House asked.

"I suppose it would, why?" Wilson wanted to know what this was all about.

"Wilson, when I make someone angry or annoyed, I get a sense of...something. I can't put a name on it but I have fun doing it," House said.

"Making people angry makes you happy?" Wilson asked.

"I don't know if I am happy doing it or if I'm ever going to be happy, what I'm trying to tell you is that I don't know what happiness is!" House sighed.

"I think I get where you're trying to lead me...House, I don't know. No one knows, people put names on the funniest things, anger, sa-"

"I get THOSE emotions, but happiness? What IS happiness?" House sighed, "Why do people even have emotions? All emotions do is obscuring honesty and confusing the opposing participants," he sighed.

"Participants?" Wilson asked. "I think you lost me somewhere along the way there," he smiled.

"Life is a war, Jimmy, some are born with protection, some have no protection at all. Some learn to protect, others learn to help and to be usefull. Every single human being on this planet has told a lie at some point. To themselves, to others, it doesn't matter. When you meet a new person, you fight yourself to be what they want before you get to know eachother and then you can slip back into being yourself again. I don't understand, Wilson," House sighed, "All it does is confuse people. It's pointless!"

"What about when people smile at you...doesn't it make you want to smile too?" Wilson asked.

"No, it doesn't. Unless the person smiling is bringing me a beer," House said.

"Well...I don't know, House...tell me if you find out one day," Wilson smiled and stood up as his pager beeped.

"Sure," House said. Wilson walked over to the door.

"And House?" House looked up. "Try not to melt your brain with these questions. No one knows the answer to everything," Wilson smiled as he left.

"Huh. Who'd have known Jimmy was a genius," House mumbled to himself as he grabbed the file in front of him. It was time to save a life.

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AN: It's just some stuff that's been going through my mind. My friends call me House, and I feel sort of a connection with the character in the "I'm trying to understand how everything works" kind of way. Anyway, I'm trying to get back into writing fiction again, since I've been sick for a good while now. Review button is made for a reason, people. PRESS IT!


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